Should I wait for you to come back home ?

When you have a crush or say you like someone,you still have a chance at survival, 

or should I say you have a chance at the act of "moving on." You can breathe hope.You hope for a better future, a better understanding, a better person, and - something better than whatever it was.

And then there's love, once it's felt - once it's gone - you don't survive.You barely have a chance,you barely can breath sometimes, you don't reply back to your friends,you isolate,

you look at the sky and it no longer comforts you, neither you look at the flowers and feel like clicking a picture,because the next move is suddenly not there anymore,the pfp is empty,or even if it isn't, you can't just send that picture. You just can't make it HD enough for someone who doesn't want to see it at all.

It's like the quicksand of sorts, the more you try to pull yourself out, it engulfs you in. An inch at a time. Eventually you submerge, anyway.You give in anyways, you just let it suck you in. But somehow it's cruel, crueler. It does let you breath.. It keeps you alive - just enough to kill you every day.

You then start building a hopeless sand castle that keeps echoing their name.

The "No Entry" board hangs bold, 

haunted by his or her ghost 

and perhaps by what you were once.

Theirs and Yours.

The sky above is hopeless much like the sea beyond.

The sunset has lost its glory, 

when looked at from the balcony.

There's no Romeo down below,

Nor is Flynn Rider, 

riding up your locks towards your heart.

 

Yet, once in a while, someone might wanna scale the wall.But you know the reality of the castle you built.You know the first step inside burns...The air inside will coil around their neck leaving them gasping for the way out, much like what happened to you. The only difference is, they seek the way out, you don't. Basking in the dark, it's the claustrophobic love that feels home.

So, for humanity's sake, you build your walls higher and you live in there bundled up with your poetry and your forlorn music, while the ghosts of your past harmonize into the tantalizing depths of the night: 

        We keep this love in a photograph

        We made these memories for ourselves

        Where our eyes are never closin'

        Hearts are never broken

       And time's forever frozen still..

and you break down exactly at it, and the ghosts throw away their instruments and comfort you, lulling you with the imaginations, with the memories, with the 'nothing' nothings.

And your nose blocks and you can't breathe anymore, your chest feels heavy.

And they try, they try, they try the best to revive you, but your tears have already washed away the castle by then, yet they still try—

And you wake up. Wake up gasping for air, gasping for the way out this time.

But you wake up,

Yet again into the depths of the quicksand. 

                   

@jess